- Phillipa Williams
- Oct 16, 2024
- 4 min read
Thin-skinned people.
People so guarded, so fearful of injury they miss out on God's healing.
It can be a challenge to deal with someone who treats every encounter as a challenge. And yet, your savior and mine still requires that we love our neighbor as ourselves. So have do we get past the fragility? First, we have to unpack why.
Why So Fragile?
Thin skin doesn't starts out that way.
Skin fragility is a term used by the medical community to describe thin skin. It is the outcome of free radicals breaking down the collagen and elastin in normally healthy skin, thinning out its barrier. The takeover of free radicals are the result of one or a combination of things: past experiences, past exposure, or genetics.
The wear and tear of the past creates a lingering, present fragility.
But why?
During his reign, King Saul was tormented by a spirit from God but this had been a long time coming. From the time of his anointing by Samuel to the present, Saul continued to operate in a vein of insecurity and fear about what others thought of him creating a thin skin that never healed.
Genetically his tribe was considered inferior.
And to whom is all the desire of Israel turned, if not to you and your whole family line?” Saul answered, “But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me?” ~1 Samuel 9:20-21, New International Version
His past experiences with his tribe validated his insecurity.
And finally the sacred lot selected Saul, the son of Kish. But when they looked for him, he had disappeared! So they asked the Lord, “Where is he? Is he here among us?” And the Lord replied, “He is hiding in the baggage.” ~1Samuel 10: 21-22 TLB
Even as he was accepted by God to be king, he was exposed to the ridicule of his peers.
When Saul and the servant arrived at the Hill of God, they saw the prophets coming toward them, and the Spirit of God came upon him, and he too began to prophesy. When his friends heard about it, they exclaimed, “What? Saul a prophet?” And one of the neighbors added, “With a father like his?” So that is the origin of the proverb, “Is Saul a prophet too?” ~1 Samuel 10:10-12 TLB
Thin skin doesn't starts out that way.
Experience. Exposure. Family. We all have reason to be fragile.
So, how can what has been damaged be healed?
Navigating Thin-Skinned People
David knew how to navigate thin-skinned people.
And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp and Saul would feel better, and the evil spirit would go away. ~1 Samuel 16:23, Living Bible
The son of Jesse, who would soon be king, knew how to soothe his predecessor's troubled mind not just because he was talented but he was also not alone.
One of them said he knew a young fellow in Bethlehem, the son of a man named Jesse, who was not only a talented harp player, but was handsome, brave, and strong, and had good, solid judgment. “What’s more,” he added, “the Lord is with him.” ~1 Samuel 16:18 LVB
David honored and respected Saul despite his fragility. But he also had the wisdom and discernment to know when to walk away.
But one day as Saul was sitting at home, listening to David playing the harp, suddenly the tormenting spirit from the Lord attacked him. He had his spear in his hand and hurled it at David in an attempt to kill him. But David dodged out of the way and fled into the night, leaving the spear imbedded in the timber of the wall. Saul sent troops to watch David’s house and kill him when he came out in the morning. ~1 Samuel 19:9-10 TLB
God did not call you to heal their thin-skin, but to respect their need to heal.
It's okay to walk away and let God do his work.
Handle with Care, Handle with Christ
When it comes to thin skin, modern medicine and spiritual wisdom agree...
It takes time for what has been damaged to heal.
Medicine says to handle with care and use vitamin C to heal. The Holy Spirit tells us to handle with Christ and use his blood to save. Not just to save our souls, but to save us from ourselves.
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My life makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble and afflicted hear and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought (inquired of) the Lord and required Him [of necessity and on the authority of His Word], and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. ~Psalm 34:1-4, Amplified Bible
David wrote this while exiled and running from Saul. It's not just a beautiful psalm, but it reads like a letter of love and encouragement to a tortured king. David never stopped caring for Saul, even from a distance.
Instead of futile confrontation, speak life into a dead situation. Handle with care. Then leave their fragility in the hands of the Master Physician through intentional, intercessory prayer.
In the end, only Jesus can increase the collagen in their heart and the repair the elastin of their soul.
Handle with Christ.
Join me every Wednesday as we answer a COURAGEOUS QUESTION about life, love, relationships and purpose that we dare not say aloud!
Have you ever encountered a "thin skin"? How did you handle it? Let me know in the comments.
And if this post encouraged you today, give us a heart!
- Phillipa Williams
- Oct 9, 2024
- 3 min read
Service. For too many Christians, it is where life ends and sacrifice begins. But where did we get this distorted sense of servitude?
How did the vicious rumor of Jesus and no joy spread?
Let's set the record straight once and for all....
Jesus is Joy
True and complete joy is first found in Jesus. He imparted his joy unto us, and since God wastes nothing it is ours to enjoy even in service to him.
If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ~John 15: 10-11, New International Version
Joy complements our faith. It works in us as a fruit of the Spirit and is just as important as love, peace, perseverance, or any of the others. And yet, we dismiss it as unattainable when it comes to service. It's if we see joy and service as opposing ends of the spectrum but they are not in conflict. They are in concert.
Maybe it's time to take a closer look at what it truly means to serve and how we can benefit from it.
The God of a Good Impression?
One of the most frequent go-to acts of service is hospitality. Yes, we are called to be hospitable - to create an environment for others where God's love can be felt. But since when was that limited to serving plates and pouring lemonade?
Having you served if at the end of an encounter people feel more connected and impressed with you than the God you say you love? How distorted has our perspective on service become?
As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.” ~Luke 10:38-40, The message Translation
Martha welcomed Jesus into her home, made Jesus feel welcomed in her home, then forgot the Jesus of her home! You mean to tell me serving the crowd that came with him held more value than the reason they were there?
I have to ask, "Martha, what were your intentions?"
Are You Doing Too Much?
Martha, was it your intention to impress? Service with the intention of impressing others more than God is not service. It's people-pleasing. We do not bow to the god of a good impression. We bow to Emmanuel, God with Us.
I understand, Martha, that you have been through a lot in a short period of time. You just lost your brother, Lazarus, then miraculously found him in Jesus. It's a lot of grief and joy to process. Were you trying to circumvent your circumstances in the kitchen? Jesus desires you to be complete, whole. Service with the intention of not dealing with how traumatic or overwhelming events have affected us is not service. It's avoidance.
Martha, everything that has happened in the last few days has been out of your control. I'm not judging. We all have a need to control, but is that what you needed in this moment? Jesus showed up to give you what you need. Mary understood that. Instead of supper, she served Christ's sovereignty far beyond hospitality by making him the priority. Serving to control demonstrates a belief that God cannot handle things when we take our hands off and submit to him. What do you believe?
Self-Serving or Selfless?
Whatever your reason, Martha, this meal should have been self-serve! Food is on the stove, lemonade is in the refrigerator! Tell everyone to grab a plate and go for it because the King of Kings is here but don't fill up your belly until you feast on the Bread of Life that is Christ Jesus.
To understand service is to understand that it is God we serve. Man is the beneficiary.
Feel like you are doing too much? Good. It is not selfish to take in and digest what Christ has for you. It's selfless. If you don't take time with God, time will take God from you.
Join me every week as we answer a COURAGEOUS QUESTION about life, love, relationships and purpose that we dare not say aloud!
Praying that you curb your cravings and get satisfaction from your Savior!
And if this post blessed you, give us a heart!
- Phillipa Williams
- Oct 2, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 4, 2024
I love God.
No. Really. I do.
It's not a perfect love, but it's perfect for me.
His love for me, other hand, is absolutely perfect and perfect for me at the same time.
The more I stick with him,
talk to him,
read with him,
cry with him,
the more perfect his love for me becomes.
What I need, it is.
When I need, it's there.
Who could ask for more?
So... why I am lonely?
Not all the time, but often enough to notice and sometimes for a season.
But I love God. I do.
Can I be lonely and be Christian?
If you have already accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, great. This is for you. No? Then come along for the ride. You might need this one day.
Liar...
Given that that I'm a nerdy writer chick at heart, it's not a far stretch to see me as a Trekker. In recent years, the various Star Trek installments have become a great escape for me. One of the products I have recently enjoyed is Short Treks, mini episodes designed to give greater context to certain plot elements in the concurrently running series.
My all-time favorite short trek is Calypso. It's about an injured escaped soldier taken in and care for by a deserted AI starship waiting in deep space to receive her next assignment. But as in timeless Trek tradition, there is so much more to the story.
The AI ship, Zora, has evolved to experience the unexpected... loneliness.
"How long have you been out her, alone, waiting for the crew to return from wherever they went?", asks the soldier.
Zora responds: "Almost a thousand years. I spent most of it evolving myself. Honestly, it was nice to have some alone time."
"Liar.", he replies.
No matter how long or short the season, loneliness can feel like a thousand years.
Feeling sanctified or still calling yourself a sinner, loneliness can feel like a thousand years.
Sometimes, it takes learning how to be perfectly lonely just so God can show you what being perfectly loved feels like. ~Unknown
Still Hungry?
As a part of Christ's preparation for the isolation of the Cross, he left someone special behind for us. The Comforter:
And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever— the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive... ~John 14:16-17a, Amplified Bible
The Comforter is here, but He cannot comfort what we won't confront.
Because we are made of flesh, the cravings of the same are always with us. God designed our flesh to desire friendship, companionship. Love. Claiming never get lonely because you are a Christian is to minimize the gift of our humanity so let's walk in the Spirit of Truth.
Our Savior got lonely, and so will we.
Church folk,
saved folk,
Jesus people get lonely but we can also curb the craving.
Curb the Craving
Loneliness in its most basic form is a craving, one that should not be ignored less we do damage trying to satisfy it. But your Christ and mine left us a solution, someone to help us navigate the deep space of loneliness.
The Holy Spirit:
... the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive [and take to its heart] because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He (the Holy Spirit) remains with you continually and will be in you. ~John 14:17 AMP
The discomfort of loneliness can poison our perspective of God if we let it. It will convince us that loneliness is a sign that Heaven has abandoned us. But like with any good friend, you must also show yourself friendly. Opting for temporal, sinful alternatives in the flesh rather than surrendering all, even the discomfort of loneliness, to the Holy Spirit positions us for greater isolation and discomfort.
What I say is this: let the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature. For what our human nature wants is opposed to what the Spirit wants, and what the Spirit wants is opposed to what our human nature wants. These two are enemies, and this means that you cannot do what you want to do. ~Galatians 5:16-17, Good News Translation
I said this in a previous blog recently, but it still rings true today. God is a safe place to be.
My help and glory are in God —granite-strength and safe-harbor-God—So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be. ~Psalms 62:7-8, the Message Bible
Child of God, I will not say you won't get lonely. We all do. In fact, there will be seasons in your divine assignment where you encounter some of the most isolating experiences in your life. But God is still a safe place to be, the safest place to be. Better than any temporary high or euphoric moments sin tries to feed you.
Loneliness Doesn't Mean You're Alone
Only a love of Christ and sweet communion with the Holy Spirit can curb the cravings of loneliness.
Jesus leaving the Holy Spirit behind to comfort, keep and equip us to handle loneliness is just another example of his absolutely perfect love. And the more we
stick with him,
talk to him,
read with him,
cry with him,
the more perfect his love becomes.
What we need, it is.
When we need, it's there.
Who could ask for more?
Let the Holy Spirit navigate your loneliness, and you will never walk alone.
Join me every week as we answer a COURAGEOUS QUESTION about life, love, relationships and purpose that we dare not say aloud!