Navigating Thin-Skinned People
Thin-skinned people.
People so guarded, so fearful of injury they miss out on God's healing.
It can be a challenge to deal with someone who treats every encounter as a challenge. And yet, your savior and mine still requires that we love our neighbor as ourselves. So have do we get past the fragility? First, we have to unpack why.
Why So Fragile?
Thin skin doesn't starts out that way.
Skin fragility is a term used by the medical community to describe thin skin. It is the outcome of free radicals breaking down the collagen and elastin in normally healthy skin, thinning out its barrier. The takeover of free radicals are the result of one or a combination of things: past experiences, past exposure, or genetics.
The wear and tear of the past creates a lingering, present fragility.
But why?
During his reign, King Saul was tormented by a spirit from God but this had been a long time coming. From the time of his anointing by Samuel to the present, Saul continued to operate in a vein of insecurity and fear about what others thought of him creating a thin skin that never healed.
Genetically his tribe was considered inferior.
And to whom is all the desire of Israel turned, if not to you and your whole family line?” Saul answered, “But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me?” ~1 Samuel 9:20-21, New International Version
His past experiences with his tribe validated his insecurity.
And finally the sacred lot selected Saul, the son of Kish. But when they looked for him, he had disappeared! So they asked the Lord, “Where is he? Is he here among us?” And the Lord replied, “He is hiding in the baggage.” ~1Samuel 10: 21-22 TLB
Even as he was accepted by God to be king, he was exposed to the ridicule of his peers.
When Saul and the servant arrived at the Hill of God, they saw the prophets coming toward them, and the Spirit of God came upon him, and he too began to prophesy. When his friends heard about it, they exclaimed, “What? Saul a prophet?” And one of the neighbors added, “With a father like his?” So that is the origin of the proverb, “Is Saul a prophet too?” ~1 Samuel 10:10-12 TLB
Thin skin doesn't starts out that way.
Experience. Exposure. Family. We all have reason to be fragile.
So, how can what has been damaged be healed?
Navigating Thin-Skinned People
David knew how to navigate thin-skinned people.
And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp and Saul would feel better, and the evil spirit would go away. ~1 Samuel 16:23, Living Bible
The son of Jesse, who would soon be king, knew how to soothe his predecessor's troubled mind not just because he was talented but he was also not alone.
One of them said he knew a young fellow in Bethlehem, the son of a man named Jesse, who was not only a talented harp player, but was handsome, brave, and strong, and had good, solid judgment. “What’s more,” he added, “the Lord is with him.” ~1 Samuel 16:18 LVB
David honored and respected Saul despite his fragility. But he also had the wisdom and discernment to know when to walk away.
But one day as Saul was sitting at home, listening to David playing the harp, suddenly the tormenting spirit from the Lord attacked him. He had his spear in his hand and hurled it at David in an attempt to kill him. But David dodged out of the way and fled into the night, leaving the spear imbedded in the timber of the wall. Saul sent troops to watch David’s house and kill him when he came out in the morning. ~1 Samuel 19:9-10 TLB
God did not call you to heal their thin-skin, but to respect their need to heal.
It's okay to walk away and let God do his work.
Handle with Care, Handle with Christ
When it comes to thin skin, modern medicine and spiritual wisdom agree...
It takes time for what has been damaged to heal.
Medicine says to handle with care and use vitamin C to heal. The Holy Spirit tells us to handle with Christ and use his blood to save. Not just to save our souls, but to save us from ourselves.
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My life makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble and afflicted hear and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought (inquired of) the Lord and required Him [of necessity and on the authority of His Word], and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. ~Psalm 34:1-4, Amplified Bible
David wrote this while exiled and running from Saul. It's not just a beautiful psalm, but it reads like a letter of love and encouragement to a tortured king. David never stopped caring for Saul, even from a distance.
Instead of futile confrontation, speak life into a dead situation. Handle with care. Then leave their fragility in the hands of the Master Physician through intentional, intercessory prayer.
In the end, only Jesus can increase the collagen in their heart and the repair the elastin of their soul.
Handle with Christ.
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