Learning to Speak Wisdom, not Criticism

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ~Proverbs 3:17, New International Version

Transparent moment:

I wish I had prayed for more wisdom when I was married.

When I look back on the experience, my responses feel like those of a wounded animal. I do not recall many of the details from our debates, but one statement I made amidst the ocean of tears on my face I recall vividly...

I can't fight you with my fists, but I can with my words. My words are all I got.

I was in a battle and the only weapon I thought I had was my words. Truth is, my words, our words, are our best weapon when used wisely. I learned that lesson over time. Since then, I have tried to be very intentional with how, when and why I share wisdom. Here are 3 rules of wisdom to help you do the same:

Origin is everything.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; James 3:17a, New International Version

Where is your response coming from? If your words are embedded in an unresolved pain, press pause. You don't have to respond in the heat of the moment. Process what is going on within before you lash out. Don't allow a knee-jerk reaction to kill the possibility of peace.

Wisdom provokes peace.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving... James 3:17b NIV

Do not be deceived by eloquent words, even if they come out of your own mouth. Wars have started from eloquent words. Use divine wisdom to promote peaceful resolutions. Keep that tongue in check.

Love, not judge.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. James 3:17c NIV

Addressing an issue without consideration of another's perspective makes us foolish and judgmental. The bible tells us the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. What are you searching for?

Jesus is the Righteous Judge. He doesn't need any help from us.

I am so grateful for the positive and encouraging relationships God allowed to develop over time in my life, even after divorce. Wisdom played a key role in the healing process but it had to begin with me. Let it begin with you.